Sex is like boxing.

Consent is Necessary

Last week when we posted a blog about consent, we didn’t realize it would jump to the national forefront thanks to a certain presidential candidate showing that rape culture is still alive and kicking.  Twitter had to revive the hashtag #YESALLWOMEN because groping and harassment happen to pretty much all women.  This isn’t about politics, it is about women being able to live unharassed and in peace.

@kellyoxford jumpstarted the conversation with this tweet and created #notokay to highlight issues.

Women: tweet me your first assaults. they aren’t just stats. I’ll go first:

Old man on city bus grabs my “pussy” and smiles at me, I’m 12.

@kellyoxford

Five days later she tweeted:

Day 5: Every minute, people still tweeting me stories of their first sexual assault. I’ve read them. You are stronger than u think.

Reading through her feed is depressing in how commonplace this is.  Consent is an important issue and must be addressed, and specifically Affirmative Consent as we mentioned in the previous post.  Teach your children about consent.  Talk with your partner about consent.  Think about your mother, sister, wife, daughters, co-workers, and friends who may have had this happen to them and work to make the world a safer place for everyone, because not only women are affected by this, but they are bearing the brunt of it.

 

 

Consent is Sexy

If you were a product of the Texas public school system then you probably had very little to no sex ed.  I remember, very vaguely, a seminar during PE when I was in Jr. High.  I remember taking a health class in high school, but not a single thing of what that class pertained to.  This being Texas there was probably a focus on abstinence and the dangers of having sex.

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via Giphy

Unfortunately, no one ever talked about consent.  This is a very important topic that needs to be discussed and Stanford recently announced that all new and transferring students will be required to attend a program entitled, “Beyond Sex Ed: Consent & Sexuality at Stanford.”

The new program is one of several educational initiatives designed to engage incoming Stanford students in conversations about the need for affirmative consent, the reality of sexual violence on campus and the collection of resources available to all students.

Hopefully, this will lead to more universities discussing consent as part of the intake process.  However, it would help if high schools or middle schools would begin the discussion.  As the below image shows, consent doesn’t have to be about just sex, it is about respecting other people’s boundaries.

consent-early

Anything we can do to improve sex education is needed, and that includes discussions about consent.  Dreamers is committed to destigmatizing sex and discussions about sex. We are about sex positivity and that begins with positive affirmation for consent.

As Last Week with John Oliver pointed out last year, we need to do better about talking to our young adults about sex.  The clip is long but so worth it.

 

Because sex is like boxing, if one of the parties didn’t agree to participate, the other one is committing a crime.  — John Oliver

Bravo Stanford, here’s hoping more Universities join your ranks.  Let us know some of your sex-ed horror stories in the comments below.

 

One Star Review or LONE STAR REVIEW!

Dreamers is no stranger to controversy.  We sell toys that look like penises after all.  So when we received this review yesterday, I was not surprised.Lone Star Review

In case you can’t see the image it says

This place supports the liberal whacko students at UT who flaunt their sexual anarchy in schizophrenic opposition to peaceful licensed gun owners who choose to carry their guns for self defense.

At first, I was upset, then I was amused, then I realized, “I don’t disagree on any particular point.”  We are supporting the “liberal whacko (sp?) students” and why wouldn’t we?  While most of this debate centers around the 2nd Amendment, the 1st Amendment is just as important, if not more so.  The “right of the people peaceably to assemble…” is what we’re supporting.  The right to protest laws you see as unfair is almost literally what our country was founded on.  Dreamers started out as a store that sold and rented adult videos and magazines, we still do but to a much smaller extent, so freedom of speech is what we’ve fought for for decades.  Now the right to privacy, which the courts have found to be a part of several of the first ten amendments, is the newer battle.  In 2008, we won a landmark decision that allowed for the legal sale and distribution of adult (or sex toys) in Texas.  So, yeah, we support students protesting, even in this absurd way.

And it should be absurd because our laws are absurd.  The fact that if a parent gave their 17-year-old daughter or son a vibrator it might make them face prosecution, however, it is okay to give that same child a gun is absurd.  One is designed for nothing but pleasure, the other a weapon.  That makes no sense.  Now I’m not anti-gun.  I come from a family of gun lovers, many of whom served in both the military and law enforcement.  Our company is not anti-gun, one of our owners is a former Air Force veteran who still hunts.  I’ve seen his gun safe filled with shotguns, he is not anti-gun.  But our laws should make sense and be open to debate, otherwise, we’re not a free country.

For Dreamers, the idea is to end the stigma that comes when discussing sexuality.  If you can carry a gun and argue that this country needs more of them, then we should be able to have an open and frank discussion about sex.

My favorite line from our humble FB reviewer is “flaunt their sexual anarchy”.  BTW, Sexual Anarchy is the name of my Sex Pistols cover band.  Again, if “sexual anarchy” means allowing consenting adults to do whatever they want with each other, using whatever products they want, then, yes, we are sexual anarchists. As long as sexual anarchy includes consent, we’re onboard.

Finally, we’ve asked and two out of our three personalities agree that we are not schizophrenic.   We support this protest because freedom of speech must be protected.  It is that freedom of speech we enjoy that allows “peaceful licensed gun owners” to leave reviews of stores without visiting them simply because they don’t agree with their politics or political stance.  We will continue to defend our humble Facebook reviewer so he can leave reviews like these wherever he wishes.  We celebrate you humble Facebook reviewer.

Pokemon Go…somewhere else

If you’ve been online recently you’ve heard of #Pokemon Go and the hilarious places Pokemon have shown up.  Pokemon Go is such a big phenomenon that it surpassed porn in online searches.

Now, Dreamers has inadvertently become a gym, which is all kinds of wrong.

Bulbasaur

Bulbasaur please go away.

We have let the creators know that they should really try to not have an adult business as a site for catching Pokemon, and hopefully the gym will be removed. So people of Austin: Please keep your kids away from Dreamers till they are 18.  If you’re hunting Pokemon and are over 18, come on in!  And is it just me or does the Pokeball look a little like a Revel Body.

revel body

Someone may need to contact this Pokemon Lawyer:

Come See the New Look of Dreamers San Antonio

We’ve been making some changes over the past month and we’d love for you to come check out what’s new.

The moment you drive up you’ll notice we’ve given the store a bit of a facelift.

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Once you open the door the changes are immediately noticeable.

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We’ve moved many things around, so don’t hesitate to have one of our sales associates help you find that perfect item.

Just around the corner when you walk in you’ll find lots of goodies for a quick romantic getaway or put together a grab bag for your bachelorette party or ladies night out.

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It’s the same great Dreamers selection with a brand-new look.  Stop by and make this weekend a Dream Weekend.  Dreamers – San Antonio is located at 2376 Austin Hwy in San Antonio, TX 78212.

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Tell us what you think of our new look in the comments below or drop us a line on Facebook.